Random Jokes and Funniness

Funny Pictures

I've searched the Internet for some funny pictures, and here they are!

  Finally! Some explanation of what this yellowy grainy stuff is that everyone's been walking through for hours!




Ladies under repair? O.O

Once you've got permission, it's not trespassing :b

Go left to get lost!

Very secret...



If you didn't already know, "toutes directions" is French for all directions, an "autres directions" is French for other directions... But if all directions is to the right, then how come there can be other directions to the left?! Lol!

Don't eat me!  I'm dead! Honestly, I am!
XD...

I'm an egg! I really am!  You don't believe me? >:(
Lol! ;)

Jokes

Please note that most of these jokes are British humour and if you don't find them funny don't blame me for that. 

A man gets onto a bus. He sits down next to a man with a banana in his ear. The first man says discretely.
'Excuse me sir, but you've got a banana in your ear.'
'What?' asks the man with the banana in his ear, not hearing.
The first man says a little louder, 'You've got a banana in your ear!'
The banana man says again 'What did you say?'
The first man shouts 'YOU'VE GOT A BANANA IN YOUR EAR!'
And the banana man says 'I'm really sorry but I can't hear you; I have a banana in my ear.'

A woman is tidying up a flat for the cleaner to come, when the telephone rings.
'Hello,' says the man on the other end. 'I am the viper, I am coming up.'
The woman is puzzled, but decides it is some joke. She carries on with what she was doing.
Soon later, the phone rings again. 'I am the viper. I am on the third floor!'
This time, the woman is slightly alarmed. She was on the fourth floor.
She was just about to phone the police when the phone rings again. At least, she thought it was the phone - it was actually the doorbell. The woman goes and opens it.
She sees a man in cleaner's overalls, who says 'I am the viper. I have come to vipe and vash your vindows.'

A man walks into a bar. Ooof, an iron bar!

Mr. Dopey: There's something wrong with my television set. It just shoes a picture of a revolving potato.
TV repair man: That's not your TV; it's your lunch going around in the microwave!

A prisoner is digging a tunnel out of his prison cell. His tunnel comes out in a kindergarten playground.
'I'm free! I'm free!' cries the escaped convict.
'So what?' says one little girl. 'I'm four.'

25 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. XD
      HAHAHAHAHAHA indeed.
      Nu, I didn't meticulosly type that while looking at the previous HAHAHAHAHAHA...

      Delete
  2. I hope haha counts as a word.. I love the signs.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'M FREE I'M FREE
    I get it. it's like a 3 year old saying they are 3. Took me a second to get that one

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes...
      Odd, isn't it, how it takes a while for a joke to register...

      Delete
  4. You should add more kitten pictures!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hmm.. XD what if that's a word/ XD

    ReplyDelete
  6. (Here's my reactions to the jokes)
    Picture 1: XD
    Picture 2:?
    Picture 3:How can you trespass WITH Permission? XD
    Picture 4:That's where people go when someone says "Get lost" XD
    Picture 5:Guy who made Nuclear bunker: Who did that? (Everyone points at everyone) XDDDDD
    Picture 6:Wha?
    Picture 7:XD
    Picture 8:Sure you are....
    Joke 1:XDDDDDDDDDDD That guy should have said "Bananas! He doesn't hear me"
    Joke 2: The first time i saw that joke I didn't understand the viper-wiper thing Until the end XD
    Joke 3:He must be REALLY dizzy! XD
    Joke 4: The Potato in a microwave show! coming up next! XDXDXDXDXD
    Joke 5: XD
    O.O I sure said XD a lot.... XD

    ReplyDelete

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